I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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