allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
