Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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