You work out of a Hotel?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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