your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i will never coherently bang her
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
