i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
