his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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