Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
