Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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