He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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