this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
