you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
