id be glad to
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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