Sry I called you an 8
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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