Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your cock deserves a montage
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
