My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
