it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
