My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
