I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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