Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
