this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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