Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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