Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
