Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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