Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
