What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
