Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize