it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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