how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
