i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
