How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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