I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
