adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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