I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
