Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
