from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
