Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
