Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
FUCK WHALES
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
