i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
