how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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