i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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