I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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