He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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