Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
