I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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