you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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