you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
