Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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