How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
