I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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