Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
