dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
