On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
