i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
