Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
soo... how was my night?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
