So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
