I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
