it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize