we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
