Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
