good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
