Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
