So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
