I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
