the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
