He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
