It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
