If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's never too late to be topless.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
