You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize