I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
