I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
