so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize