respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
