it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
