Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
