I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
